Monday, January 12, 2004


G.I.S. for "funny hitler"

..."where do you get the links from?"; which is a lot like asking a comedian where he gets his jokes from.
If he tells you, he's out of a job.
Still and all, I'm feeling rather benevolent right now, so I'll tell you my main two sources.

One: The internet was created with the intention of replicating a hive mind. Many can contribute to one grand idea and a problem may be overcome with a "super-mind" more powerful than any the Earth has ever seen.
Initially, this was applied with great success to national security and the human genome.
Currently, a lot of people just use it to find other people's dumb obsessive shit.
Which is fine by me, because I just steal their dumb shit and post it here. Thus it has been and thus it will be, until the last syllable of recorded time, huzzah.
I try to make a point of occasionally tipping my hat to the finder I found it from, but often they found it from another and eventually the circle jerk just gets too crowded.
But I do respect my elders as often as possible.

Two: the God with 100 Zeros does all my work for me.
I let my mind go limp and type in two completely unrelated words into Google and then pick through the carnage.

Remember the machine from the Fly where you put a fly and a man in one side and a grotesque fly man comes out the other? It's like that, just with language.

Which is how I found this first link.

Sridhar is a terrible copyright scofflaw. Just look at his obsessive text file cache of Stephen King Books (click the creepy bobbleheaded King icon for flashfun). Why, he's got every Stephen King book ever WRITTEN in here and nothing BUT... Oh, wait a minute, this HARDLY looks like King. Nice try, though. Uh. Wait a second, what's this last file? Uh oh.

But that's not even the best part. How did I find little Sridhar?

By googling "impulsive knockwursts".

And I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you that.

Now get back on your side of the curtain.


"Without getting too graphic, let's just say that when most of us think 'yeast infection,' we're not thinking about dog ears.": The accompanying photo is just too much for me.
Leia's Metal Bikini: Obviously, this is what the internet is for. I think I speak for us all when I say that Leslie has just taken MILF and FILM and made some beautiful sort of Porn/Star Wars Oreo with creamy filling from our very souls. (via the always entertaining everlasting blort)
"With all they have given you, in all these years, haven't they earned at least that much respect?": When I was a kid, John Byrne was one of my favorite comic book guys. Now, he is clearly utterly insane.
(via the nice folks down at Barbelith)
And if that turns your crank, try Robert Rodi's novel, What They Did To Princess Paragon, in which a thinly veiled John Byrne parody rewrites a thinly veiled Wonder Woman-type comic character as a lesbian... thus marring traditional continuuity FOREVER! It's been years since I read it, but I remember it being rather droll and fun for comic cognoscenti types...
Photos of Marilyn: A brief blurb in the NYT (scroll down to "Berlin") noted that Sam Shaw is about to exhibit over one hundred previously unseen Marilyn shots in a new book, which led me to this lush site.
Kariwanz: The fetish site that's just trying too hard.
(courtesy of the famed madamjujujive, through metafilter)

the NEEN samples: Conceptual art via the Whitney. More good stuff here than you can shake twenty sticks at.
For starters, check here, here, and here.
"Everybody! Move Your Feet and Feel United!": One of my favorites from last year along with the ultra wicked pixel video. The video is somehow cooler the smaller it is. If you can get it down to the size of a postage stamp, it's mind-boggling. I heart Jr./Sr..
The Art of Wesley Willis: Best known for such classics as "Cut Your Mullet", "Rock and Roll McDonalds" and "I Whupped Batman's Ass", the late great Wesley Willis was also a prolific visual artist. I gotta tell you, I like this stuff. It's the ultimate fridge art. Rock over London, Wes.
All About My Vagina: "There are no pictures of my vagina or vulva on this website." Good for confused young women and men to cut their teeth on. Not the vagina. The site.
The Toonarific Cartoon Archive: Slow loading, but frighteningly thorough. Great for unearthing images you thought you'd never see again. Look, it's Rubik the Amazing Cube! And the Noozles! And The Littles!
Purgatorio: One gallery of an unbelievable slew of 3-D images by David Camp. Because it's the internet, he's also written a 43,000 word fantasy novel to accompany this already mind boggling feat. It's a sad, sad world.

And presuming you give a damn...
Why don't you ever CALL anymore?