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Thursday, February 19, 2004

MAY I TAKE YOUR COAT?



Boy, the days do fly by don't they? Let's get caught up.
Take a look around; the blogroll has been updated (especially the "DAILY MUSIC FIX") and there's any number of new cool sites to peek into.

THAT CRUNK-CA-CRUN-CRUN-CRUNK

I figured out the secret of the dirty south.

Finally got around to listening to a bit more Lil' Jon while I was running at the gym; that guy _lives_ on BET these days. I'll dejack the iPod every now and again to listen in when he comes on, 'cause his music has such bitchin' verbal BPM and booty bass like a Miami thunderstorm.

Anyway, I think I got it: Crunk is bitchin' hooks, hardcore beats, misogynist lyrics, loads of pent up anger, long hair freaks jumping up and down and banging into each other.

It's black hair metal.

Can I get a witness?



clicky

MEMEPOOL lights me the way to a terrible, terrible nightmare.
I give you a David Hasselhoff singing "Hooked On A Feeling" while flying angels and dachshunds frolic in the background.
And may God have mercy on my soul.
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"Peanut Butter Jelly Time" is _so_ '02. "Go-Go Girl Time" is the new hotness.
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Virtual Knee Surgery:
The only way anyone's going to trust you with a bonesaw.
Cosi is really branching out these days, huh?
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Raging Fred ain't the new Charlie Brown "Hey Ya", but it'll do.
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Kelp Cam
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A Virtual Tour of Bubblegum Alley:
Yawk! This is disgustin'! (via MONKEYFILTER)
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Bunsen's Sex and the City Spoiler:


(sorry to blow your punchline, buns; this is just too gorgeous not to steal)
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World's Smallest Monkey
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Tuesday February 24th, Downhill.org is pimping "Grey Tuesday", a public show of support for the corporate shutdown of DJ Danger Mouse's Grey Album.

For those (two) of you not yet in the know, the Grey Album is a mashup remix of Jay-Z's Black Album and the Beatles White Album and let me tell you, the best way to listen to the Grey Album is to NOT listen to the Black Album first. I've yet to sit through the Black in its entirety, but I've been taking the Grey with me to the gym everyday for about three weeks. HIGHLY recommended; Jay's rapping takes center stage moreso than on the album mixes.

Go get a copy; I'd start with the mixes of "Dec.4th", "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" and "What More Can I Say".
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FLESHBOT reports that the Brown Titty of Glory is now officially both played and sold out as Janet is "planning to launch her own range of saucy underwear and jewellery, including nipple rings..."
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"Jesus Christ said suffer the little ones to come unto me, not that they should be eaten for public entertainment."
Urm. Check please.
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The NNFF:
I first read about necrotizing fasciitis in Atul Gawande's excellent book Complications. The "flesh eating disease" is extra-special scary because, although incredibly rare, it can be started by something as minor as a RUG BURN and can go unnoticed until it's entirely too late.
This must be porn for hypochondriacs.
Careful with the pictures here.
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Chyugakusei Nikki: (Via BLORT)
Entrancing and confusing.
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I'm really enjoying the music of Sufjan Stevens these days. He runs a well designed site and there's loads of free mp3s. TANGMONKEY turned me onto him with Stevens' gorgeous single "Seven Swans" (sadly, no longer online) from the album of the same name. This is definitely one I'll be looking to buy.
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"All Your Christmas Belong To Us" Mashup
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Turnpike Film's ads make me want to buy their products. Are you listening Corporate America? I want more commercials like this and this and (oh god please) more like THIS.

Truly, I FEEL GRRREAT!

"Yeaaaaaah... Babies EVERYWHERE!"

The mastermind behind these is director Justin Reardon (who also won first place in the Renfrew County Science Fair [third from left]; way to go, Justin!)

He's also responsible for this excellent Sonic the Hedgehog spot and was apparently one of the hands behind the "Wasssup!" Budweiser ads, but it's been awhile so I'm ready to forgive him for that.

Like Coury Turczyn says over at PopCult, "Somebody give this guy a low-budget indie film to direct, pronto."
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I'm not crazy about the nonsecular air, but Mazes does have a couple of toys to help you while away your lunch time.

...A NEW CAR!!!!

In my CONTINUING attempts to try to illicit some sort of a response out of you motherfuckers quieter types, I'm now giving stuff away. Clearly, I have issues.

Anyway here's the deal: I'm giving away an audio mix cd to the first two people who leave their e-addy in the comments for this post. I'll contact you at said email to get your snail address and will knock out a disc to you on Monday by the latest, no cost to you.

Here's the catch: By Monday next (that'd be the 29th of February) at the latest, I'm going to want a brief track-by-track review of said CD emailed to me for publication in this blog. That gives you about three days to listen the disc over closely enough that you can sit down and write a few paragraphs about it.

Please bear in mind that if I don't get a review by Sunday next, I'm publishing your email for the spambots to eat and I'll openly mock you in public and I'll be very very VERY sad. Fair? Fair.

If this turns out to be a fun and workable thing, I'll do it on a weekly basis.

Forewarned is forearmed: This weeks disc has a theme and that theme is:
MUSIC I LISTEN TO AT THE GYM THAT I WOULD BE ASHAMED TO LET OTHER PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM LISTENING TO.

Are you up to the challenge?

BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Continuing in my misguided efforts to teach the world to sing, I've decided to sink a little money into a webhost and start posting some mp3's over here. The slant is likely gonna be gospel, blues and bluegrass with a few other things tossed in for kicks, maybe two a post or so. Just waiting for the check to clear and as soon as it does, I'll work out the technical crap and start posting.

(This will also help me avoid the terrible terrible habit I've acquired of linking directly to other people's images. I'm quitting soon as I get a host up; I'm on the patch, I swear.)

So buckle your seatbelts kids. It's bound to be a lumpy ride.