Monday, June 13, 2005
There's nothing new under the sun.
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glisten: skimming the surface noise
The Basin Street Boys - "Come, John, Come"
Ernie Cook - "Shut Your Big Fat Mouth"
What with a healthy dose of 'offensive' songs taking over the charts (Ludacris' 'Pimpin All Over the World', Ying Yang Twins' 'Wait'), the predictable backlash against how crass and shocking today's music is right on the horizon. Let's head that off at the pass: songs about dicks and bitches certainly predate the current vogue in hip hop for the shocking. Today's Hut highlights two particularly rough cuts from back in th' day. To the best of my knowledge, neither of these tracks have ever been officially released as digital media.
The Basin Street Boys are tangentially related to Five Jones Boys; members of each would work with one another in various combinations throughout the thirties and forties. 'Come, John, Come', released in 1934 on the Racy label, is another human orchestra show-stopper, with a hot faux-trumpet break right in the middle. Though this track has some of the hallmarks of traditional spiritual singing, the theme is something less than ecclesiastical; "Gone are the days when my John was full of fire / Gone are the days when my John would never tire / Gone are the days when the girls would ask for some / You'd hear those gentle voices callling, 'Come, John, come'," means exactly what it sounds like. Aside from Prince's 'Tick, Tick, Bang', you'd be hard pressed to find a catchier song about ejaculation disfunction.
Listen to several more tracks by the Basin Street Boys, courtesy of the Vocal Group Harmony Site.
Further proving that it's less the words you use and more the intention behind them, "Shut Your Big Fat Mouth" is one of the crudest and angriest songs I've ever heard, yet it could easily pass FCC approval. This country ho-down features some of the most bizarre bluegrass you'll ever hear; "You're a poor example of a woman down South" is the strangest and most violent insult I've heard this year; I expect to see this trope crop up on a G-Unit track pronto.
How to shut your big fat mouth permanently.
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bonus glisten
The Beets - "Killer Tofu"
I've been saving this song for a special occasion when it suddenly struck me that there's no time like the present for a nice present.
The Beets hail from the cartoon 'Doug', a regular fixture on Nickelodeon and later bought out by Disney. Doug Funnie, the show's lead character, was a mellow everyman eleven year old dealing with the hassles of school and life who, like all of us, sought refuge in music. Doug's favorite band was The Beets, an Estonian rock group that showed up occasionally on the program to perform one of their 'big hits'. In the fourth episode of 'Doug', The Beets cranked out the insanely catchy 'Killer Tofu', my favorite from this imaginary supergroup. I defy you to play it just once; it'll be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
Search for The Beets entry in the priceless Rocklopedia Fakebandica.
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Read more about the Nick/ABC cartoon, Doug.
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Listen to 'I Need More Allowance' and 'Shout Your Lungs Out' on (god help us) The Beets MySpace page.
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Mix up a beet and tofu salad.
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spiffy
A brief glance eastward will confirm that; yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus: I've uncovered well over a hundred new audioblogs to add to the massive list. They rest heavy on the sidebar at the moment, but expect to see greater detail on those puppies shortly. For now, explore at your own risk.
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Monster Magazine Covers
Clearly a work still in progress, but what's there already is priceless.
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Mother's Milk Saves Vet Set Ablaze on Bus'
"Abrams, who lost his left leg in Vietnam, said he was minding his own business as he rode the city bus to the Staten Island Mall to buy a video of "The Exorcist.""
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Massive French marionettes
Just in case you missed it the first time around; you MUST watch the videos.
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Daniel Pinkwater discusses 'being fat and fabulous'.
Pinkwater is one of my heroes; if you've somehow stumbled through your miserable life without any contact with this mega-genius, you may yet be saved. Go get the two-volume best-of sets (nine books for under twenty bucks!) and listen to his NPR commentary, stat; you WILL thank me.
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Though it's continuously 'out of stock', the DMC Xclef 500 is an intriguing alternate to the iPod: a no-software mp3/wav/wma/ogg portable music player with an FM radio, built-in mic and 80 gigs of drive space for under $350.
Anybody test drive one of these suckers?
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New UK pop singles reviewed by yours truly.
As I note at Stylus, Missy Elliot's 'Lose Control' is the best pop single I've heard all year and the video (up for viewing at her official site) is a joy as well. MUSIC MAKE ME LOSE CONTROL.
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Mommy, what's a weed carrier?
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Björk and Matthew Barney's long-augured collabo, 'Drawing Restraint 9' is about to jump off with some assistance from Akira Rabelais and Will Oldham; check out some clips from the soundtrack here.
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For all your web-searching needs, there's Google. For all your Doogie Howser needs, there's Doogle.
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