Monday, July 24, 2006

men have named you

glisten: The Return of the deadly D. Bo

David Boyle - DaVinci's Ho

Imagine my surprise when our prodigal son and once and future king David Boyle dropped a line to let me know he was getting back into business. Somewhat edited communique follows:

How are you? Have been very busy myself, sorry; but here it is, my new single. You can find the lyrics online at my website. The song itself is based on the 1978 hit 'Get Off' by Foxy.

Despite any (un)intentional vocal styling resemblances to Jerry Lewis, I really think that you can't fault the idea, lyrics or backing track. And who could argue with the rap portion... "Lindsay Locust", indeed! I'm also kind of proud of "Dan Brown, D.Bro made so much Ludacris dough / He proud he got Da Vinci's Ho in every area code, like a pimp-o". You can consider this to be a quasi-sequel to "Rapping of the Christ", if you will.

David also made the point that he'd like to see if the market could handle a D.Bo. single or possibly even a disc. How about it, folks? Anybody interested in ponying up a few sheckels? Drop the D. Bo. a line at his website and let him know.

tell me more about it...

Visit David's site for audio and video for the inimitable 'George W. Pussy' and much more.
Read this article on 'George W. Pussy' from The Boston Phoenix.
Check out a few of David's past appearances

Explore the finer points of D. Bo's political stance over at his political blog.

blah blah pop singles blah blah

I've gotten myself into the position of doing occasional scritchity-scratching for Stylus; mostly to keep me plugged into what's what on the worldwidepop airwaves. Here's a recent dose of weekly snarkiness, along with youtube links where you can see the video and make up your own mind.

Nelly Furtado ft. Timbaland - Promiscuous Girl
'Promiscuous Girl' is promising enough at first; the hook and the drums are engaging and obsessive, but that chorus is SO CLUNKY it scuttles the song entirely. There's none of the payoff that I expect from a Timbaland track; it just gets boring, awkward and weak. If I didn't know better, I'd have pegged this as one of Will.I.Am's bland-ass beats. On the plus side, a newly bulked up Timbo seems to have put some muscle to his flow too; generally the weakest part of his own songs, Tim now sounds a dead ringer for Bubba Sparxxx. Speaking of soundalikes, ambition is rarely so bald as Nelly makes it here; as hard as Furtado is biting her style, Gwen Stefani should be getting royalties. 'Promiscuous Girl' sounds like half a song to me; more's the pity that it's poised to become this year's 'My Humps'. I really hope Tim's comes with more in the tank next time.

Sandi Thom - I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)
Proving yet again that I'll bite hard on any hook that packs a pretty voice, tambourines, foot stomps and hand claps; I regret to inform that I actually like this lamentable bit of misguided, vapid nonsense. This is not to say that I'm unaware that you could go mad picking out all the inaccuracies, fallacies and out-and-out bullshit from betwixt the teeth of the "impressionistic" lyrics. This is not to say that I think that this internet wunderkind's aughties 'For Dummies' rendition of 'We Didn't Start the Fire' has serious staying power. This is not to justify the existance of the most empty-headed "don't it make ya think?" folk anthem since 'Ironic'. But the pretty voice! The tambourine! THOSE HAND CLAPS!
Maybe if we get her a ghostwriter?

Cassie - Me & You
Cassie is Bad Boy's entry into the race for the next Ciara and her first single, a minimalist pop come-on masquerading as bubble-crunk, makes a reasonable case that there may be room for another princess at the top of the game. Cassie opts for a coy purr rather that showcasing any range or virtuosity, but that seems appropriate on a song as stripped down as 'Me & You'. Its innocuous, its got good bass and its absurdly simple hook doesn't get tired. At the same time, there's not much that sets this apart from the crowd; the whiff of plastic and lack of personality makes 'Me & You' less of a piece of art and more of an ad for the second single. Anyways, it's hardly fair to blame hamburger for not tasting like steak; this zipless fuck of a song is short, sweet, unmemorable, appetizing and tailor-made for the Summer. Be on the lookout for it booming from the back of a jeep near you before the end of the month.

Prince - Fury
3121 has been one of the nicest surprises of 2006; a solid album from an icon who had lately seemed to have tired of making music. Though nothing else on 3121 is nearly as good as Prince's leadoff single, 'Black Sweat,' there are still another couple of "at his best" cuts: the mid-80's throwback title track '3121', the silly-but-fun 'Lolita' and 'Incense and Candles,' a slinky, vocoder-heavy quiet-storm ballad that would've been a more natural follow up to 'Sweat'. The rest of the album vascillates between corny, disposible and mediocre with flashes of brilliance; it's this last that best describes 'Fury'. A little bit Vegas and a little bit rock and roll, 'Fury' takes a simple theme and whips it into a froth of excellent but aimless guitar solos and overzealous kickline synths. It's too ungainly and dense a song to quite take flight, but there are undeniable moments; when Prince segues into the chorus with a growling squeal of "Who's the guilty one / When there ain't no judge or jury", you'd swear he was twenty again. It's not quite a hit, but 'Fury' is done with such mastery and ease that you can't help but be impressed... even if you're not much interested.

Silvia Nott - Congratulations
Nott is the Bizarro-Bjork: a self-obsessed, uninhibited, nutty Icelandic nymph with a closet full of oddball costumes; but utterly lacking in gravitas and depth. And did I mention that she doesn't even really exist? 'Congratulations,' Iceland's maligned entry into Eurovision, isn't much more than a little girl singing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' in front of the closet mirror with a Magic Mike, so OF COURSE it's kinda great. Less interesting is the tongue-in-cheek Velveeta production, the blatant judge pandering and the lack of a hook. Actually, there's the question of a lack of a SONG; still, how many tracks can boast a moment when the singer calls God on the telephone in a Betty Boop voice to declare that she's "saving the world"? 'Congratulations' wants to be enjoyed ironically, which means it's great for the first three listens. Past that, you're on your own.

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